Sometimes, when I give people examples of the tangible ways in which sexism affects our lives they are dismissive of what it means when I say that physical beauty is put in the forefront of women’s responsibilities. And this is what I mean: all the time we are told to be paying attention to our hair our cheeks our eyebrows our painfully-waxed vaginas is the time we’re not spending on our own hearts, on making the world amazing or on getting some fucking sleep.
It’s the same way with telling women to worry about being raped (on the street, late at night, even though that’s not how rape usually works). All the time we don’t go out to the grocery store because we can’t god forbid go out of our houses without escorts, all the space in our brains that is thinking about how I could defend myself right now or whether or not I’m giving off those supposed rape-me vibes is time and energy not relaxing (god can you, men, imagine what relaxing is like when some part of your brain worries constantly about being raped). It’s time and energy not being spent on making me happy, making history or making money.